Why I Hired a Mindset Coach in my 40s

two ladies in a coaching session

Hitting your 40s is like upgrading from juggling a few harmless balls to performing a full-blown circus act. You’re now balancing flaming chainsaws on a unicycle while navigating a tightrope over a pit of hangry alligators. And yes, somehow, we’re expected to do it with a smile, perfect hair, and an overpriced Americano in hand. Fancy that!

So, here I am, your trusted narrator and fellow survivor of the 40-something rollercoaster, who decided it was time to call in reinforcements. Why? Because my own mind wasn’t quite cutting it anymore, and I wasn’t about to start Googling "how to survive midlife with grace" on a daily basis.

I’m a woman in my 40s, with a great career, a beautiful family, and I split my time between the mountains in winter and the beach in summer (sounds pretty idyllic, right?). But here’s the kicker: despite all of that, I felt stuck. Not the ‘everything’s falling apart’ kind of stuck, but more like the ‘something’s missing, but I can’t quite put my finger on it’ kind of stuck. Sound familiar?

The 40s are a strange time. On the one hand, you’ve probably nailed a few key things - career, relationships, maybe even your personal style (finally, no more questionable fashion choices!). But on the other hand, it’s like life holds up this unforgiving mirror, and you start seeing things that weren’t on your radar before. Like that nagging feeling of, "Am I where I thought I’d be by now?" Or realising that the dreams and goals you set in your 20s no longer fit the person you are today. It’s unsettling, but totally normal.

For me, that reflection brought up some big, uncomfortable questions. "Am I actually happy?" "What do I want from this next phase of life?" I started realising that some of my thoughts and beliefs were holding me back. And then the inner dialogue kicked in: "Maybe this is just how life is, and I should be grateful." But deep down, I knew there was more waiting for me. I just had no clue how to get there.

It was during one of these moments of complete chaos, probably with a toddler meltdown in the background, that I had an epiphany. Or maybe it was a breakdown... the line gets a bit fuzzy these days. Either way, I knew I needed help. Not from another self-help book or random advice column, but from someone who could actually guide me through the beautiful mess that is adulthood. Enter the Mindset Coach.

Now, if you’re wondering, "What does a Mindset Coach actually do?", think of it as a blend of cheerleader, therapist, and that one friend who always insists on finding the silver lining (the one you low-key want to shake but can’t, because they’re always right). My Mindset Coach has been helping me reframe my narrative and find opportunities in the challenges, which, I have to admit, has led to some interesting rebranding efforts. For example, I now refer to the mountain of laundry as "Mount Opportunity" and my toddler’s mood swings as "emotional cardio." See? Progress.

Mindfulness is another trick she’s teaching me. I’m fairly sure it’s just a fancy term for zoning out while pretending to be reflective, but hey, it’s better than hiding in the bathroom with a family-size bag of crisps (although, that still happens from time to time).

We’ve also been working on boundaries - learning to say "no" without apologising profusely afterwards. Easier said than done when you’ve spent decades playing everyone’s therapist/firefighter/problem-solver, right?

But here’s the thing: it’s working. Slowly, like the grey sneaking into my roots between hair appointments, I’m changing. I’m learning to breathe through the chaos, laugh at the absurdity, and, dare I say it, put myself first without feeling like I’ve just committed a crime against humanity. (OK, with slightly less guilt... baby steps.)

Hiring a Mindset Coach in my 40s was hands-down one of the best decisions I’ve made. It wasn’t about fixing something that was broken. It was about unlocking a version of myself that feels aligned with who I am today, not the woman I was 20 years ago. If you’re feeling stuck, uninspired, or like you’re on the edge of something but can’t quite figure out what it is, maybe it’s time to explore what a Mindset Coach could do for you. After all, life doesn’t end at 40, in many ways, it’s just getting started.

Here’s to new beginnings, at any age. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to tackle Mount Opportunity before it avalanches. Wish me luck!

Lady at the top of the summit
Kate Casali

As a Certified EFT Practitioner and Mindset Coach, I specialise in helping professional women over 40 rediscover their confidence and overcome mental and emotional blocks - whether on the slopes or in everyday life.

https://katecasali.com
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