The Quiet Habit That’s Draining Your Confidence

I read a stat the other day that genuinely stopped me in my tracks:

27% of women compare themselves to other women every single day.

Every. Day.

And do you know what my first thought was?

Is it really that low?

Because if I’m being really honest, I’d probably be in the daily comparison club too. Maybe even the morning, midday, and evening edition.

The Sneaky Nature of Comparison

It starts subtly, doesn’t it?

A scroll through Instagram.

A glance across the school gate.

An email from someone who seems to be absolutely bossing it in business while I’m just trying to remember where I put my keys.

One minute you’re admiring someone’s success or confidence… and the next you’re spiralling into “Am I doing enough?” “Should I look like that?” or “How is she so calm while I’m just trying to stay upright and breathe through yet another meltdown from my 4-going-on-16-year-old?”

Becoming Aware Was My Wake-Up Call

When I saw that stat, it hit a nerve. Because I realised how often I’d let comparison quietly chip away at how I felt about myself.

And the frustrating part is, it wasn’t even true comparison - I was comparing my messy middle to someone else’s highlight reel.

That awareness changed everything.

Enter: Self-Love (And Not the Fluffy Kind)

Now, I’m not talking about bubble baths and face masks here (although I’m a fan of both).

I’m talking about the kind of self-love that shows up when it’s inconvenient.

The kind that speaks up when your inner critic is shouting.

The kind that says:

“I’m doing my best.”

“I don’t have to have it all together to be worthy.”

“She’s allowed to shine - and so am I.”

Self-love isn’t about pretending you don’t have doubts. It’s about meeting them with compassion instead of criticism.

What’s Helped Me Break the Cycle

Awareness first.

Noticing when I start comparing. Noticing the emotion underneath. Is it envy? Insecurity? Exhaustion? Naming it helps diffuse the power.

Talking it out.

Whether it’s with my coach, my husband, or a friend - saying it out loud (“I’ve just seen this and now feel like I’m behind in life”) often brings a kind of release. Plus, I usually find they’re feeling the same!

Curating my feed.

If it doesn’t inspire, empower, or genuinely connect - it goes. Period. Social media isn’t the problem, mindless consumption is.

Affirmations that actually land.

I don’t do fluffy mantras. I like the grounded ones:

“I’m allowed to take up space.”

“I trust my path, even if it looks different.”

“I’m enough in this moment - not when I achieve more, weigh less, or tick all the boxes.”

Final Thought

Comparison might be a deeply ingrained habit for many of us, but that doesn’t mean we’re stuck with it.

Self-love is a practice. One that gets easier the more we bring awareness to the thoughts, the spirals, and the small wins of choosing ourselves anyway.

So if you’ve looked at someone else this week and felt that pang - you’re not alone.

But maybe, just for today, try looking inward instead.

You’re probably doing better than you think ;)