Thoughts: The Flatmate You Didn’t Choose but Still Have to Live With

You know those moments when your mind won’t shut up? The ones where your thoughts are bouncing off the walls like a sugar-fuelled preschooler at a birthday party? Yeah. That’s been me a lot of the time.

It came up in one of my own coaching sessions (yes, I have a coach - wouldn’t be without one), and it opened up a whole can of awareness. What stood out wasn’t the usual “quiet your mind” stuff, it was this simple idea:

💭 You don’t need to stop your thoughts. You just need to change how you relate to them.

Game-changer.

That Voice in Your Head...

We all have it. That inner commentary that narrates your every move and, let’s be honest, doesn’t always have the nicest things to say. For me, it’s a bit like having a flatmate who never shuts up, eats all the snacks, and gives unasked-for opinions at the worst moments.

Then I realised: instead of trying to evict them (which never works), I’ve started practising acceptance. I don’t have to love them. But I can get curious about them.

When I hear that voice telling me I’ve not done enough / said the wrong thing / messed something up… I now pause and think:

• Where did that come from?

• What am I actually feeling right now?

• What’s the emotional loop I’m in?

Because behind the thought is usually an emotion quietly driving the bus.

The Spiral and the Shift

As Esther and Jerry Hicks say, you get more of what you think about. And that’s exactly what I noticed, when I start spiralling into frustration, or overwhelm, or “I’m failing at life,” guess what? That thought party gets bigger and louder. 

But here's where it gets interesting - I can choose to interrupt the loop.

Lately, I started working with this idea as part of my own habit loop:

➡️ Thought shows up

➡️ I get curious, not critical

➡️ I look for the feeling underneath

➡️ And then, I consciously choose a different direction

It’s not always instant, and sometimes I do need to walk it out, write it down, or tap it out with EFT. But the power lies in noticing it before I get swept away.

So What Can You Do With Your Thoughts?

If this is resonating, here’s a little something to try next time your mental flatmate pipes up with something unhelpful:

Label the Thought – Just say, “Ah, there’s that voice again,” or “Ooh, here comes a spicy one.”

Ask, What’s Beneath This? – What are you feeling that might be triggering the thought? Fear? Guilt? Tiredness? (Seriously, so many of my rogue thoughts start when I need some sleep.)

Interrupt the Pattern – Use tapping, journalling, or go old-school and shake it off with a walk. You’re not stuck, you’re just repeating a loop that you now get to rewrite.

Final Thought (Pun Totally Intended)

You’re never going to banish thoughts. But you can learn to live with them in a way that doesn’t drain your energy or derail your day.

And who knows? That annoying inner flatmate might just teach you something… if you listen differently.