The Patient Instructor Myth

“I just need someone patient.”

It’s one of the most common things women say when booking ski lessons.

And on the surface, it sounds simple enough.

You want someone who won’t rush you, who understands your nerves, who won’t make you feel silly for taking things slowly. Totally fair.

But I’ve come to realise… patience is rarely the real issue.

The Reality

When you dig beneath that request, what most people are really saying is:

• “I don’t want to feel judged.”

• “I don’t want to hold anyone up.”

• “I don’t want to feel like the weakest one.”

• “I’ve lost my confidence.”

What we’re truly looking for isn’t a patient instructor, it’s a safe space to rediscover confidence.

Because fear on the slopes isn’t about ability. It’s about trust.

Trust in your body, your decisions, and your ability to handle what’s ahead.

And when that trust has been shaken, by a fall, an accident, or even years of quietly putting others first, no amount of technical instruction can fix it.

The Deeper Truth

Even the most patient instructor can’t teach confidence if your nervous system is in survival mode.

When your brain sends signals of danger - “What if I fall?” “What if I hold everyone up?” - your body responds accordingly: tense muscles, shallow breathing, shaky legs.

Sound familiar?

This is why mindset work matters. When your mind feels safe, your body follows.

That’s when learning becomes easier, and progress becomes possible.

A Better Approach

Patience absolutely helps, but what truly builds confidence is emotional safety, feeling seen, supported, and free to learn at your own pace.

So before your next lesson, try this:

• Take a slow, steady breath and feel your feet grounded in your boots.

• Remind yourself: “I’m allowed to take my time.”

• And remember that progress made calmly is progress that lasts.

Because confidence isn’t something your instructor gives you. It’s something you remember, when your mind and body finally feel safe enough to let it rise again.

Closing Reflection

The next time you hear yourself say, “I just need someone patient,” pause and ask instead,

“What do I really need right now - patience, or permission?”

Because that’s where your real confidence comeback begins.

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