Why DO We Find It So Hard to Celebrate Ourselves?

I’m always struck by how uncomfortable it can feel for women to notice - let alone celebrate - what they’ve done differently.

Not the big, obvious wins. But the small shifts. The quiet moments where an old pattern loosens - even slightly.

We make a different choice. We interrupt autopilot. And then… we move straight past it.

No pause. No acknowledgement. No moment of that mattered.

Instead, we tell ourselves:

• It doesn’t really count

• I should be doing more

• That was easy - it doesn’t deserve credit

And just like that, the progress disappears almost as quickly as it arrived.

Why celebrating ourselves feels so awkward

Most of us were never taught how to recognise our own effort without minimising it.

We learned to:

• keep going rather than pause

• focus on what’s still missing

• reserve recognition for outcomes, not effort

So when we do something differently - rest instead of push, speak up instead of stay quiet, choose enjoyment instead of obligation - it can feel strangely uncomfortable to acknowledge it.

Almost indulgent. Almost unnecessary. Almost like taking up too much space.

But here’s a reframe I often return to:

Anything you choose that genuinely makes you happy is already a form of recognition.

Because it means you noticed yourself. You stepped out of autopilot. You did something differently.

That matters.

Small changes still deserve to be noticed

Real change rarely looks dramatic.

More often, it looks like:

• stopping before exhaustion takes over

• letting yourself enjoy something without explaining why

• choosing recovery, pleasure, or rest - simply because it feels right

These moments are easy to dismiss, but they’re exactly where new patterns begin.

When we don’t acknowledge them, the nervous system doesn’t register progress. And when progress isn’t registered, motivation quietly drains away.

Celebration doesn’t have to be loud or public. It can be small. Private. Ordinary.

Celebration doesn’t have to mean champagne

This is where many women get stuck.

We associate celebration with:

• big milestones

• visible success

• justification

But what if celebration was simply responding kindly to effort?

That might look like:

• a bar of chocolate eaten slowly and without guilt

• choosing rest instead of pushing through

• booking a spa day because your body asked for it

Or, especially here in the mountains, it might look like something very practical.

A quieter kind of reward (real life, local example)

Sometimes recognition looks like doing something tangible for yourself - without needing to justify it.

A massage after a full day on the slopes is a perfect example.

My friend, Anna, runs Massage Me here in the Alps.

She works with skiers, locals, and visitors - people who’ve asked a lot of their bodies, physically and mentally. What I love about what she offers isn’t just the massage itself, but what the choice represents.

Choosing to book a massage isn’t indulgent. It’s recognition.

Recognition that:

• your body worked hard

• recovery matters

• enjoyment doesn’t need to be earned

If you’re visiting the Alps this season, choosing something like this - especially after a day on the mountain - can be a powerful way of saying: I noticed myself. I didn’t rush past my own effort.

And that, in itself, is a meaningful shift.

Receiving as a form of recognition

For some women, recognition isn’t just physical - it’s about allowing themselves to receive support more fully.

Reiki is one example of this.

Not because it’s productive. Not because it’s earned. But because it creates space to receive - to soften, settle, and let the nervous system exhale.

Choosing Reiki, bodywork, or gentle hands-on care isn’t about fixing anything. It’s a signal to your system that effort has been seen.

That you have been seen.

A quieter way to celebrate yourself

Celebration doesn’t need an audience. It doesn’t need to be impressive. And it doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else.

It simply needs to acknowledge: I did something differently.

If you find celebrating yourself uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean you’re dismissive or ungrateful. It usually means you’re practising a new skill.

So instead of asking: Have I done enough?

Try asking: Did I notice myself today?

Because recognising your own effort doesn’t make you complacent. It makes change sustainable.

And that’s where confidence quietly grows.